It's 4.34am and I'm still not asleep . Just finished baking cupcakes for Dafinah td . Lame gle bake .
Kul 3am td baru siap sume . Best kan ? But icing x bwat lg . Jap lg kne bgn pagi2 bwat icing then
g SK1 hanta the cupcakes to Fina . I nak sgt Danish teman but he said he might be busy . Urgh,
sedihnya . I didn't want to go alone . Segan kowt ! So Danish taleh, I've decided to invite Nana .
Siap offer nk amek die lg . haha . Segan pnya pasal kan ?
Anyways, I'm sitting in Ashraf's room here cuz here's where the aircond at . haha . Panas gle kowt
bwat cupcakes . I was "browsing" my FB then I saw something that caught my eyes . I pun tgk la
the profile . It was the picture that caught my eyes . hehe . So, belek2 la the photos sume . Nak
tgk one by one but internet connection was kinda sucky so sabar je la . But I did managed to see
the pictures tho .
So as I was looking at the pictures, I chum terfikir like how nice it is to hang around with lots and lots of friends .
Like in the school days . Mygoddd, how I missed high school so much :( Friends, teachers, classes, recess time,
pondok . Urghhhh . Tension kowt ble tgk the pictures . haha . It made me realize how people actually do change
when they meet new people and become good friends with them . Sometimes it breaks my heart to be in those
kinda situations . We've been friends for a very long time and as day passes by, the less-er we hang out
together .
The phrase 'I/Kteorg-knal-die/you-dlu kowt-and-da-lame-knal-and-slalu-lepak-and-now-you-chum-da - change-because-of-the-new-people-you-meet' is so funny ble fikir-fikirkan balik . Funny in a sad way tho .
For me la . Cuz sometimes terasa jgak how their life is better than urs and u see how much fun they're having .
Hate to say this, but I kadang2 jealous with my friends with good life . hahaha . Psycho much ? Not really la .
Sometimes u wish that ur life is as good and enjoyable as theirs . As for me, I just feel like my life's a bit
sucky now . Idk why . I always don't feel good about myself and what I'm going through . Easy said, my life
is not as smooth as other people . Mayb I'm being to hard on myself . Idk . But i'm sure there's a lot of
people whose life is much worse than mine . I'm not complaining . I'm just expressing how I feel . There's a big
difference kay .
Anyways, I'm glad that my friends are having a blast with/in their life . I really am . Just that sometimes do
wish that I could be someone else . Someone that I'm not . Someone useful for second . Someone attractive
and cool in my own kind of way . Long story short, I just have low self-esteem . I'm not confident with my
own self . That's cuz I'm always not satisfied with myself . How I live, what my life's going thru, bole kate
from any and every aspects la .
Enough emo-ing bout me, back to the friend "matter" . It bugs me to have to see that someone u're really close
with, is not so close with u anymore . We hang out, we go eat, we watch movies together . Them memories
aren't easy to forget . Cuz we had fun . Well, atleast I did . And I hate the fact that lately they don't make an
effort to ajak lepak or wtv . Sometimes tu terasa la jgak . NOT to brag, but takan la nk lepak g makan
always we yg kne contact ? Da lame x jmpe/lepak then ckp sombong la hilang la ape la . It make things awkward !
Tak rasa awkward ke ? It's okay it u make atleast a little effort to come hang, but ni smpei 2 3 minggu tade
contact ke ape . Terasa la jgak . Sampai terfikir "bosan sgt ke aku/kteorg ni ?" Dahsyat x dahsyat . haha .
Anyways wtv la . It's already 5am . Gotta get them sleep ! My brain and eyes are exhausted ! haha
xoxo
